We all worry. We are anxious about money, our relationships, work, our health, our family’s health, and pretty much anything else we care about that we can’t absolutely control. We think about overwhelming tasks when we wake up and fall asleep thinking about what calamity tomorrow could bring. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s more exhausting — the things we worry about or the worry itself. You may sometimes find yourself asking, Am I going to be this anxious for the rest of my life?
While you can’t control external events, you can control how you react to them. Here are six ways to reduce your stress and anxiety, even if you can’t banish them completely:
IDENTIFY YOUR TRIGGERS
I know what anxiety feels like physically, when it’s happening. That’s easy. It starts in my chest and then works its way up my throat. Sometimes it feels like my tongue swells and blocks my breathing. I have to sip water just to make sure I’m swallowing.
Identifying the cause of my anxiety, however, is much more difficult.
One technique for gaining control over your anxiety is to notice when you experience it. Is it when you’re around certain people? At a certain time of day or at night? What are the thought patterns? Are you reading the news, watching television, scrolling through social media sites? Asking these kinds of questions can help identify triggers that set off your anxiety.
Clinical psychologist Elvira Aletta refers to this method of questioning as an ”anxiety thermometer”: ”As you feel the anxiety blip up or down take note of what is going on and what you’re thinking. This way you may be able to notice patterns, like always spiking up to 8 when it’s time for a staff meeting, or going down to 2 when American Idol is on. Over time this exercise will help you recognize your triggers.”
Once you’ve identified some of your triggers, you can decide if any of them could be eliminated from your life or made to occur less frequently. I start feeling pretty down on myself if I’m on Facebook or Twitter for too long, not only because I get caught up in other people’s lives but also because I’m wasting time that I could be putting toward something more in line with my values and desires. I start to think about every bad choice I make, and then I get anxious that I’ll never live the life I want. Boom. Anxiety. Fear. What I have to do is limit my time on social media sites. To do this, I use an app called SelfControl. Another trigger for me are certain groups of people, so I try to limit the amount of time I spend with them.
Tip: Keep a journal with you. Each time you start to feel anxious, write down where you are and what you’re doing. What were you thinking or talking about? Once you’ve identified what kinds of situations and encounters set you off, then you can make it a point to limit the time you put yourself in those positions.
CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE
One of the reasons anxiety and stress freak us out is that they cause physiological changes that can feel frightening in the moment. When I’m anxious, my heartbeat quickens and I have shortness of breath. Then I get scared. Then I get stressed, and stress is bad, right, and unhealthy, right? I mean this whole article is about how to reduce anxiety, which is compounded by stress, which means it’s not something we want to experience.
Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal speaks to this thought spiral in one of her TED talks. She references studies that prove changing our minds can change our body’s response to stress. What if instead of seeing our heart beating faster as something to fear, we saw it as our bodies’ way of getting more oxygen to the brain to help ourselves overcome what’s troubling us? What if we saw our reactions as helpful, a way to face the challenge?
The next time you start to feel the symptoms of stress and anxiety, try to flip the switch. Pause for a moment, maybe close your eyes, and see your body’s response as a way to help you through the feelings of anxiety. Maybe your heart pounding makes you pay attention to your breath, which reminds you that you’re alive, well, and safe.
MEDITATE
How many times do you get up in the morning, check your phone, hop in the shower, grab a piece of fruit and rush out the door, whizzing past people because you’re anxious about getting to where you need to be on time? Or maybe you wake up relaxed, but then the to-dos start multiplying, and you’re suddenly paralyzed. It’s easy to get so caught up in the shoulds and have toes that you feel you can’t even think of taking a break — but a break is exactly what you need.
The feeling that you can’t turn off or let go of your thoughts is common, but you can help ease your anxiety through meditation. If you sit even for five minutes a day and breathe, you can reduce your anxiety.
Meditation is about witnessing your thoughts as they come in and out: seeing and acknowledging them but not attaching to them. The moment you notice yourself dwelling on a topic, just label the experience “thinking,” let the thought go, and come back to your breath. For meditation instruction, I am a huge fan of Susan Piver’s Open Heart Project. She teaches you the basics of meditation, and each guided meditation comes with a teaching.
If you’re in a place where you can’t meditate, but you’re feeling overwhelmed or notice self doubt creeping in, try breathing into the spot where you feel the anxiety most in your body, then exhaling it out of your body. I do this until the constriction is gone. Then I try to mentally replace the negative emotion with an image that makes me smile, like birds on a tree branch, or my nieces.
TAP
I live in a city, so whenever I visit my parent’s house in the suburbs, I feel anxious. I always think someone’s going to break into the house. Then a couple of years ago I learned about the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or what most people who know about it call tapping. It’s a combination of Chinese acupressure and modern psychology. So when I went to my parents and felt the same fears rising, I sat up in my bed and I started tapping. After a couple minutes, I felt calm and was able to fall asleep.
The idea is to focus on the fear that’s plaguing you and while doing so tap five to seven times with your fingertips on the 12 meridian points on your body. By the last round of tapping, you’re anxiety is reduced, and you feel safe and secure.
I know it may sound a bit out there, but research indicates that EFT can reduce anxiety. A series of studies at Harvard Medical School showed that fear and stress, which are controlled by the amygdala, can be reduced by stimulating the meridian points, especially those used in acupuncture, acupressure, and tapping. Also, when the Stress Project, created by Dawson Church, Ph.D., taught tapping to PTSD victims, there was an average 63 percent decrease in symptoms after six rounds of tapping..
WATCH YOUR WORDS
When I tell people I have a lot of work to do, or if I keep saying over and over again that I’m swamped, that I can’t go out because I’ve got so much going on, all I’m doing is confirming these facts for myself. The more I tell myself I’m not going to get that job or there’s no way I’ll be able to succeed at an important project, the more I’m basically signing a contract with myself that I will fail. We may not think about it, but how we talk does affect our feeling state. If we say we’re busy all the time or overwhelmed, we attract business and the feeling of being overwhelmed in our lives.
Studies indicate that positive repetitive thought enables recovery from depression and upsetting traumatic events, which means it’s a great idea to start rewiring our words. A lot of what needs to happen first is to pay attention to what words you’re using to describe your day. When someone asks you how things are going, what do you say? If you notice you’re answering with anxiety-inducing statements, change them up.
Another great way to keep anxiety at bay is to repeat three or four affirmations to yourself a day. Whenever you start to feel the negative vibes emerge, pause, take a breath, and say your affirmation. Mine are, “I always have more than enough time to complete all that I need to with ease and grace.” “What I have to say is necessary. My words are valuable.” “You never have to convince anyone of anything ever.”
To come up with affirmations, on one side of the page write down what you fear or what you’re insecure about. Maybe it’s, “I feel stupid,” or, “I’ll never meet new friends.” Then translate these into positive statements like, “I am smart.” “I make new friends wherever I go.” If you need help, feel free to e-mail me at kanementoring@yahoo.com. Affirmations are a wonderful way to shift away from the fear-based mantras we tell ourselves daily.
MOVE YOUR BODY
For me, anxiety shows up as a lot of unused energy. I can be sitting on my couch, then walking into the kitchen, and then head upstairs, all because I can’t sit still. The best thing for me at that point is to head to a class, go for a walk, or take a swim. But I’ve noticed that regularly moving my body helps reduce my anxiety to begin with.
That’s not surprising, given that studies dating back to the 1950s show that exercise reduces depression and anxiety disorders.
I’d recommend trying a class you’ve always been interested in instead of just hitting the gym. That way you get a boost in confidence from trying and succeeding at something new (I define succeeding as simply taking the class), and also the stress release from the activity itself.
Hopefully, some of the above techniques will help you as much as they’ve helped me. The more you start to incorporate these easy rituals into your days, the less control anxiety will have over you.
Stress is more than just frustration at work or exasperation from a packed schedule — in some instances, it’s a precursor to deadly debilitations.
Stress is a general term given to the body’s responses to stressors, which “induce activation of the sympathetic nervous system responsible for flight-or-fight response,” says Krishna Tummalapalli, cardiologist at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
The sympathetic nervous system releases hormones like adrenaline, cortisol and serotonin, which lead to accelerated heart and lung action, inhibition of digestion and a number of other physiological responses.
The human body, while complex and adaptable, isn’t equipped to handle constant sympathetic nervous system activation, Tummalapalli says.
It’s not just moments of intense stress — like Tako Tsubo syndrome, which refers to the sudden onset of heart attack or heart-failure symptoms due to the sudden deterioration of heart function after a person hears unexpected tragic news — that are detrimental to heart health, but prolonged minor stressors, too.
Stress is a leading factor in chest pain, strokes, elevated blood pressure and heart attacks. If left unattended, warns Tummalapalli, it can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like smoking, poor food choices and a sedentary lifestyle.
“Stress also impairs our ability to fight infection, impairs our cognitive abilities — like thinking clearly and remembering accurately — and increases inflammatory markers in the body,” says Catherine M. Stoney, program director for the Division of Prevention and Population Sciences at the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute in Bethesda, Md.
And though, according to Stoney, eliminating stress isn’t always a realistic goal, learning to live and cope with it is the best possible outlook. It’s all about finding what works for you.
Here are some suggestions for ways to reduce stress in everyday life:
Exercise. It almost goes without saying in this day and age — exercise is a great way to both relax and stay in shape.
“This might be the single most important thing you can do to improve your health,” Tummalapalli says.
Meditation and yoga. Tummalapalli and Stoney both recommend these soothing activities as a way to center oneself and learn proper deep-breathing techniques, which are helpful in times of panic.
Find a hobby. “Tennis, dance, photography — whatever you like!” Tummalapalli says.
Take a time out. Similar to a hobby, this involves taking some time out of every day to spend quality time with yourself.
“Read, watch a movie, take a relaxing bath or choose another enjoyable activity that provides a quiet time apart from your daily activities,” says Stoney, who also advises turning off electronic devices to truly “commit to the notion that time for yourself is as important as time for work.”
Socialize and volunteer. “Humans are social animals,” says Tummalapalli, who notes the importance of being selective about who you choose to interact with: “Socialize with people you genuinely enjoy spending time with.”
55 Ways To Reduce Stress
1. Mental prayer (meditation) every day.
2. Pray with Scripture daily.
3. Frequent The Sacraments – Mass as often as possible + monthly Confession.
4. Quickly forgive others when they mess up.
5. Forgive yourself when you mess up.
6. Go on a retreat.
7. Take several days off of work / your normal schedule.
8. Socialize with friends more often. Schedule if necessary.
9. Go on dates with your spouse.
10. Pray with your family.
11. Eat dinner with your family.
12. Practice isn't worrying about things you can’t control.
13. Don’t work to please other people. Please God.
14. Remember that you are wonderful and lovable, even if imperfect.
15. Smile more.
16. Do nice things for other people, just because.
17. Play with some kids.
18. Spend less time around negative people.
19. Have difficult conversations, in a loving way. Don’t avoid them.
20. Work on your character flaws and poor communication skills.
21. Ask for help more often.
22. Practice being content with what you currently have.
23. Exercise regularly.
24. Sleep more.
25. Laugh.
26. Talk to a spiritual director regularly.
27. Learn from your mistakes.
28. Be OK with not controlling others.
29. Reduce your to-do list by distinguishing ‘must’ and ‘should’.
30. Spend time with a pet.
31. Read more good books.
32. Listen to more good music.
33. Turn off the TV and do #32 and #32.
34. Spend time doing something you like to do.
35. Volunteer to help others.
36. Eat healthier.
37. Stop an unhealthy habit (overeating, smoking, drinking too much, etc.)
38. Temper the tone in your voice and the words you use when frustrated.
39. Go dancing, bowling, or to play miniature golf.
40. Realize what upsets you and create a plan on how to deal with it in the future.
41. Don’t get upset in traffic or with other drivers. Slow down. Chill.
42. Say “no” more often if you are over-scheduled.
43. Don’t procrastinate.
44. Remember, you are not the center of the universe.
45. Don’t lash out at others.
46. Spend time improving yourself. This isn’t greedy, it helps everyone around.
47. Question worrisome thoughts. Are they rational / probably / helpful?
48. Focus on the present. Not the past or future.
49. Keep a journal or diary as an outlet of your stress.
50. Say more positive things. I love you, you are wonderful, thanks, etc.
51. Stop wasting time on Facebook, video games, etc.
52. Pray for an increase of faith and hope. Expect God will answer your prayer.
53. Serve someone in need and do so with a smile.
54. Pick up a new (or restart an old) hobby.
55. Follow through with your commitments.
While you can’t control external events, you can control how you react to them. Here are six ways to reduce your stress and anxiety, even if you can’t banish them completely:
 |
| Stress Problem |
I know what anxiety feels like physically, when it’s happening. That’s easy. It starts in my chest and then works its way up my throat. Sometimes it feels like my tongue swells and blocks my breathing. I have to sip water just to make sure I’m swallowing.
Identifying the cause of my anxiety, however, is much more difficult.
One technique for gaining control over your anxiety is to notice when you experience it. Is it when you’re around certain people? At a certain time of day or at night? What are the thought patterns? Are you reading the news, watching television, scrolling through social media sites? Asking these kinds of questions can help identify triggers that set off your anxiety.
Clinical psychologist Elvira Aletta refers to this method of questioning as an ”anxiety thermometer”: ”As you feel the anxiety blip up or down take note of what is going on and what you’re thinking. This way you may be able to notice patterns, like always spiking up to 8 when it’s time for a staff meeting, or going down to 2 when American Idol is on. Over time this exercise will help you recognize your triggers.”
Once you’ve identified some of your triggers, you can decide if any of them could be eliminated from your life or made to occur less frequently. I start feeling pretty down on myself if I’m on Facebook or Twitter for too long, not only because I get caught up in other people’s lives but also because I’m wasting time that I could be putting toward something more in line with my values and desires. I start to think about every bad choice I make, and then I get anxious that I’ll never live the life I want. Boom. Anxiety. Fear. What I have to do is limit my time on social media sites. To do this, I use an app called SelfControl. Another trigger for me are certain groups of people, so I try to limit the amount of time I spend with them.
Tip: Keep a journal with you. Each time you start to feel anxious, write down where you are and what you’re doing. What were you thinking or talking about? Once you’ve identified what kinds of situations and encounters set you off, then you can make it a point to limit the time you put yourself in those positions.
CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE
One of the reasons anxiety and stress freak us out is that they cause physiological changes that can feel frightening in the moment. When I’m anxious, my heartbeat quickens and I have shortness of breath. Then I get scared. Then I get stressed, and stress is bad, right, and unhealthy, right? I mean this whole article is about how to reduce anxiety, which is compounded by stress, which means it’s not something we want to experience.
Health psychologist Kelly McGonigal speaks to this thought spiral in one of her TED talks. She references studies that prove changing our minds can change our body’s response to stress. What if instead of seeing our heart beating faster as something to fear, we saw it as our bodies’ way of getting more oxygen to the brain to help ourselves overcome what’s troubling us? What if we saw our reactions as helpful, a way to face the challenge?
The next time you start to feel the symptoms of stress and anxiety, try to flip the switch. Pause for a moment, maybe close your eyes, and see your body’s response as a way to help you through the feelings of anxiety. Maybe your heart pounding makes you pay attention to your breath, which reminds you that you’re alive, well, and safe.
MEDITATE
How many times do you get up in the morning, check your phone, hop in the shower, grab a piece of fruit and rush out the door, whizzing past people because you’re anxious about getting to where you need to be on time? Or maybe you wake up relaxed, but then the to-dos start multiplying, and you’re suddenly paralyzed. It’s easy to get so caught up in the shoulds and have toes that you feel you can’t even think of taking a break — but a break is exactly what you need.
The feeling that you can’t turn off or let go of your thoughts is common, but you can help ease your anxiety through meditation. If you sit even for five minutes a day and breathe, you can reduce your anxiety.
 |
| Meditation |
If you’re in a place where you can’t meditate, but you’re feeling overwhelmed or notice self doubt creeping in, try breathing into the spot where you feel the anxiety most in your body, then exhaling it out of your body. I do this until the constriction is gone. Then I try to mentally replace the negative emotion with an image that makes me smile, like birds on a tree branch, or my nieces.
TAP
I live in a city, so whenever I visit my parent’s house in the suburbs, I feel anxious. I always think someone’s going to break into the house. Then a couple of years ago I learned about the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or what most people who know about it call tapping. It’s a combination of Chinese acupressure and modern psychology. So when I went to my parents and felt the same fears rising, I sat up in my bed and I started tapping. After a couple minutes, I felt calm and was able to fall asleep.
The idea is to focus on the fear that’s plaguing you and while doing so tap five to seven times with your fingertips on the 12 meridian points on your body. By the last round of tapping, you’re anxiety is reduced, and you feel safe and secure.
I know it may sound a bit out there, but research indicates that EFT can reduce anxiety. A series of studies at Harvard Medical School showed that fear and stress, which are controlled by the amygdala, can be reduced by stimulating the meridian points, especially those used in acupuncture, acupressure, and tapping. Also, when the Stress Project, created by Dawson Church, Ph.D., taught tapping to PTSD victims, there was an average 63 percent decrease in symptoms after six rounds of tapping..
 |
| Worry Condition |
When I tell people I have a lot of work to do, or if I keep saying over and over again that I’m swamped, that I can’t go out because I’ve got so much going on, all I’m doing is confirming these facts for myself. The more I tell myself I’m not going to get that job or there’s no way I’ll be able to succeed at an important project, the more I’m basically signing a contract with myself that I will fail. We may not think about it, but how we talk does affect our feeling state. If we say we’re busy all the time or overwhelmed, we attract business and the feeling of being overwhelmed in our lives.
Studies indicate that positive repetitive thought enables recovery from depression and upsetting traumatic events, which means it’s a great idea to start rewiring our words. A lot of what needs to happen first is to pay attention to what words you’re using to describe your day. When someone asks you how things are going, what do you say? If you notice you’re answering with anxiety-inducing statements, change them up.
Another great way to keep anxiety at bay is to repeat three or four affirmations to yourself a day. Whenever you start to feel the negative vibes emerge, pause, take a breath, and say your affirmation. Mine are, “I always have more than enough time to complete all that I need to with ease and grace.” “What I have to say is necessary. My words are valuable.” “You never have to convince anyone of anything ever.”
To come up with affirmations, on one side of the page write down what you fear or what you’re insecure about. Maybe it’s, “I feel stupid,” or, “I’ll never meet new friends.” Then translate these into positive statements like, “I am smart.” “I make new friends wherever I go.” If you need help, feel free to e-mail me at kanementoring@yahoo.com. Affirmations are a wonderful way to shift away from the fear-based mantras we tell ourselves daily.
MOVE YOUR BODY
For me, anxiety shows up as a lot of unused energy. I can be sitting on my couch, then walking into the kitchen, and then head upstairs, all because I can’t sit still. The best thing for me at that point is to head to a class, go for a walk, or take a swim. But I’ve noticed that regularly moving my body helps reduce my anxiety to begin with.
That’s not surprising, given that studies dating back to the 1950s show that exercise reduces depression and anxiety disorders.
I’d recommend trying a class you’ve always been interested in instead of just hitting the gym. That way you get a boost in confidence from trying and succeeding at something new (I define succeeding as simply taking the class), and also the stress release from the activity itself.
 |
| Stress & Headache |
Hopefully, some of the above techniques will help you as much as they’ve helped me. The more you start to incorporate these easy rituals into your days, the less control anxiety will have over you.
Stress is more than just frustration at work or exasperation from a packed schedule — in some instances, it’s a precursor to deadly debilitations.
Stress is a general term given to the body’s responses to stressors, which “induce activation of the sympathetic nervous system responsible for flight-or-fight response,” says Krishna Tummalapalli, cardiologist at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center.
The sympathetic nervous system releases hormones like adrenaline, cortisol and serotonin, which lead to accelerated heart and lung action, inhibition of digestion and a number of other physiological responses.
The human body, while complex and adaptable, isn’t equipped to handle constant sympathetic nervous system activation, Tummalapalli says.
It’s not just moments of intense stress — like Tako Tsubo syndrome, which refers to the sudden onset of heart attack or heart-failure symptoms due to the sudden deterioration of heart function after a person hears unexpected tragic news — that are detrimental to heart health, but prolonged minor stressors, too.
Stress is a leading factor in chest pain, strokes, elevated blood pressure and heart attacks. If left unattended, warns Tummalapalli, it can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms like smoking, poor food choices and a sedentary lifestyle.
“Stress also impairs our ability to fight infection, impairs our cognitive abilities — like thinking clearly and remembering accurately — and increases inflammatory markers in the body,” says Catherine M. Stoney, program director for the Division of Prevention and Population Sciences at the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute in Bethesda, Md.
And though, according to Stoney, eliminating stress isn’t always a realistic goal, learning to live and cope with it is the best possible outlook. It’s all about finding what works for you.
Here are some suggestions for ways to reduce stress in everyday life:
Exercise. It almost goes without saying in this day and age — exercise is a great way to both relax and stay in shape.
“This might be the single most important thing you can do to improve your health,” Tummalapalli says.
Meditation and yoga. Tummalapalli and Stoney both recommend these soothing activities as a way to center oneself and learn proper deep-breathing techniques, which are helpful in times of panic.
Find a hobby. “Tennis, dance, photography — whatever you like!” Tummalapalli says.
Take a time out. Similar to a hobby, this involves taking some time out of every day to spend quality time with yourself.
“Read, watch a movie, take a relaxing bath or choose another enjoyable activity that provides a quiet time apart from your daily activities,” says Stoney, who also advises turning off electronic devices to truly “commit to the notion that time for yourself is as important as time for work.”
Socialize and volunteer. “Humans are social animals,” says Tummalapalli, who notes the importance of being selective about who you choose to interact with: “Socialize with people you genuinely enjoy spending time with.”
 |
| Remove Stress |
1. Mental prayer (meditation) every day.
2. Pray with Scripture daily.
3. Frequent The Sacraments – Mass as often as possible + monthly Confession.
4. Quickly forgive others when they mess up.
5. Forgive yourself when you mess up.
6. Go on a retreat.
7. Take several days off of work / your normal schedule.
8. Socialize with friends more often. Schedule if necessary.
9. Go on dates with your spouse.
10. Pray with your family.
11. Eat dinner with your family.
12. Practice isn't worrying about things you can’t control.
13. Don’t work to please other people. Please God.
14. Remember that you are wonderful and lovable, even if imperfect.
15. Smile more.
16. Do nice things for other people, just because.
17. Play with some kids.
18. Spend less time around negative people.
19. Have difficult conversations, in a loving way. Don’t avoid them.
20. Work on your character flaws and poor communication skills.
21. Ask for help more often.
22. Practice being content with what you currently have.
23. Exercise regularly.
24. Sleep more.
25. Laugh.
26. Talk to a spiritual director regularly.
27. Learn from your mistakes.
28. Be OK with not controlling others.
29. Reduce your to-do list by distinguishing ‘must’ and ‘should’.
30. Spend time with a pet.
31. Read more good books.
32. Listen to more good music.
33. Turn off the TV and do #32 and #32.
34. Spend time doing something you like to do.
35. Volunteer to help others.
36. Eat healthier.
37. Stop an unhealthy habit (overeating, smoking, drinking too much, etc.)
38. Temper the tone in your voice and the words you use when frustrated.
39. Go dancing, bowling, or to play miniature golf.
40. Realize what upsets you and create a plan on how to deal with it in the future.
41. Don’t get upset in traffic or with other drivers. Slow down. Chill.
42. Say “no” more often if you are over-scheduled.
43. Don’t procrastinate.
44. Remember, you are not the center of the universe.
45. Don’t lash out at others.
46. Spend time improving yourself. This isn’t greedy, it helps everyone around.
47. Question worrisome thoughts. Are they rational / probably / helpful?
48. Focus on the present. Not the past or future.
49. Keep a journal or diary as an outlet of your stress.
50. Say more positive things. I love you, you are wonderful, thanks, etc.
51. Stop wasting time on Facebook, video games, etc.
52. Pray for an increase of faith and hope. Expect God will answer your prayer.
53. Serve someone in need and do so with a smile.
54. Pick up a new (or restart an old) hobby.
55. Follow through with your commitments.
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